Hello Darlings!
So today I want to talk about something that seems to be a big issue for me. Now there are many different kinds of Lolita, and if you have been into the fashion for a while, you probably know that there are rules on how to wear Lolita or even how one should behave. I would like to think of these more as guidelines. The more extreme Lolitas (and there is nothing wrong with being passionate about your interests) would argue that in order to be considered Lolita you have to dress a certain way and act a certain way. Those that do not comply with these rules get labeled with the name "Ita".
"Ita" is a term used for those who try to dress in the Lolita fashion but due to whatever reason it is deemed that their attempts are not up to standards. Examples: They could just be starting out, so they grab what they can in their closet or at good will and alter it. They buy a dress online that looks Lolita, but once they get it it turns out that no, it's not what they expected and does not fit into the standards, however they still want to wear it. The particular style that they like is frowned upon, (Wa Lolita being one of them).
Here is my thoughts on Lolita, whether you are starting out or you just want to do your own thing. Just do it. When it comes down to it, Lolita should ultimately be a feeling you get when you want to dress in the style. You just admire the fashion but don't own any garments. If that is the case, in my opinion you are a Lolita in spirit and that is what matters.
When I say "Dress in the style" it does not have to be brand, it can be clothes you bought at Walmart but thought it conveyed the Lolita style in some way. I basically had to start out the same way and go through my closet or get lucky at the sale rack at JC Penny. So girls who have to basically make due until they get the money for their own outfits or learn how to sew will get stuck with the label as "Ita". I find this term offensive, not only for me but for all girls or guys who enjoy the fashion.
Now before people start filling up my comment box, I just want to address something. I know that not everyone has these thoughts, and that those who do have these thoughts will have them for different reasons. You are entitled to your opinion. All I ask is that before you judge someone, please remember that not everyone has $300 dollars to drop down on one outfit from Baby The Starts Shine Bright, especially clothes they are not 100% sure are for them. Not everyone is 100% clear of what makes something Lolita, and what they may think is their best treasure (be it bought or sewn), someone could be making a joke out of it. So like all practical people, these girls or guys will take the resources they have in their own closest. Even though it is not up to Lolita standards, shouldn't people who try get some credit?
Now the clothes aside, lets go over attitudes or mannerisms. For those of you who know me, I am a pretty quite girl. I don't have any brand other than bodyline. I sew my own clothes (which apparently is also frowned upon?). I work hard and am respectful of others. So when I get dressed in whatever outfit I happen to want to wear (Tiny hat tilted to the side and all!) to hang out with my friends, I want the experience to be a good one. And you know what? It is a good experience, because not everyone in the group that I meet up with follows the rules 100%, and everyone feels relaxed to be their self without fear of being judged. Shouldn't it just always be that way? You don't have to like or love someones outfit, but you also don't have to treat them any less of a human being than you would want yourself to be treated.
Frill and let Frill!
... Ok, my catch phrases still need work. I hope that those of you who read this understand what I was getting at. I am not ashamed of the "Ita" outfits I had when I was first starting out, or the ones that I still have. I'm not ashamed because even though I might not have done it right, I was still Lolita, and I still am today, because despite what I wear it's how I feel. I hope that others who are also starting out, or who had the same beginnings also feel the same.
Stay pretty, both inside and out.
-PLV
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